Post-Erasmus syndrome and culture shock in Finland

I don't know where to begin. First, I've been trying to write this text for the three and a half weeks I've been back in Finland but I've gotten too sad and even more depressed when I've tried to write. Now, I think I'm ready. Or at least as ready as I will ever get.

One more time I'll jump back in time.. When the days in Athens got fewer and fewer I started feeling more and more down. I knew that I had to kiss and hug goodbye to my friends (for now) and to my boyfriend also. The last days I tried to enjoy every single thing I could see, smell, taste and breath. When the day of the departure came, it was rough for me. Surprisingly I got all my stuff to fit into my backpack pretty easily even though the previous day I went shopping.. When my boyfriend gave me a ride to the metro station and we went together all the way to the metro and kissing him goodbye on the platform was one of the hardest things for me! 

The metro way went by crying and thinking over everything. At the airport waiting the check-in to open, I started crying again when I saw the stupid finnish tourists! I felt a bit better when I dealt with my check-in in greek. The last calls to my friends and a bit more crying and then it was time to step on the airplane and hopefully towards a better day, post-erasmus feelings and the culture shock waiting for me in Finland. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? 

I arrived to Finland on 3rd of July at 10.30 pm. After crying almost the whole trip to home, I was finally in Finland. The first swear words I let out when I stepped outside the airport. I was so cold. Even a long-sleeved shirt wasn't enough. I needed my leather jacket. From a hot and sunny Athens of +32 to a rainy Finland of +16. My sister picked me up from the airport and I got so depressed and sad immediately when I heard Finnish music on the radio.

We live quite near the airport and it only takes around 15 minutes to drive home. On the way home I right away noticed some differences. The streets were so wide and it was so quiet on the streets. Only a few cars and couple of buses. It was also so GREEN, everything was green, wherever I looked it was green. It was 11 pm and it was still light outside without any street lamps on or anything.

Back in home or "home" I didn't feel like I was in home for almost two weeks. I kept opening wrong drawers and I couldn't find anything. My room felt like it wasn't mine. I also felt like I had so much stuff in there since I got used to only some few things in Athens and I understood there with how little you can actually live. You don't need that much stuff. 

It was weird that I could through toilet paper to the toilet instead of some bin. The kitchen was bug-free. It wasn't hot in my room and I actually needed my blanket (even with it I was cold). When I took a shower I didn't have to put the water on first to get hot water. It just came. Immediately. It was weird. I also could was my teeth with my electric toothbrush. 

The next morning was weird. Like waking up in someone else's bed. It was sunny, thank god. I didn't sleep well. Outside it was still so quiet even though it was a day, not that many people outside. Like no people anywhere. It was green. And I saw old people walking outside with rollators. I didn't know what to do so I left outside to run and to wander all the green I could see, smell the grass and enjoy the silence. Or for me it was actually really distressing. I enjoy the big city life. In Helsinki I felt like being in a small town, like in a countryside. Even in the center of Helsinki. There was no one there. It was so small compared to Athens. Outside there were some people sunbathing and it was only +20. I had a long-sleeved shirt and pants on while running..

I had five days before I started my work. So I had time to see my friends, family and relatives for the first days. At some point I felt like coming here to visit all of them and then leaving back to home in Athens. On the first day at home I went to see my best friend Lotta and my godmother and my grandmothers. When I was at home I started cleaning my room and throughing things away. Eventually I discovered that the more I do in my room the less I have time to think and miss Greece and everyone there. So starting from cleaning my room for four hours I ended up having a four day project of decorating my room. I went crazy. I even painted one wall while Lotta helped me and painted a text: ποτέ μι λες ποτέ = never say never. I bought so much new stuff to my room like: clock, paintings, carpets, decorating pillows, counterpane etc. 

During the days back in Finland I finished my room, I met some other friends and relatives. Soon I had seen all my friends. I felt empty. Now what. Can I go back now? No, I had to start working on Monday the 9th. The weather didn't cheer me up at all. It was cold and raining, every day. +15-+21.

Okey, so now I've been in Finland for three weeks and a half. I feel a bit better. Not a single day goes by without me thinking of Greece, my friends, listening to greek music or trying not to forget the language. My days here are all the same, every day. Practise in the morning by myself, shower, eating, working for eight hours, coming home and going to bed. Next week I'm supposed to start practising with my team. I hope to get to the ice, so I can get excited about something, hopefully. 

Now, when my exchange is over (I still can't understand that it's over) I think it's nice to look back to the things I was scared and afraid of before leaving.. Let's check if I was nervous for nothing or what actually happened?! :) The questions below are picked up from the first blogtexts about the exchange..

-Could I really do it? I could! I did! 

-Could I live alone or with some other student in a city of million people? I did, and I loved it! 

-Could I understand anything at the work placement? At first, not that much but later I understood a lot. There were also at least some people who could translate to me in English, even though some vocabulary even in english were really difficult.

-What about my training, would I excersice there at all? I did okey, I could have done better, but I'm still happy.

-Or can I really make food for myself? ...I survived.. Minced meat sauce and macaroni for around three months.. :D 

-What if our ringette team makes it to playoffs and I would miss them? We didn't make it to the playoffs.

• What kind of place my practical training will be? Is it only gonna be one place or will I go to different ones? Will I be able to do anything there? Will they speak good English? Will I understand anything? How to speak and communicate with Greek people who don't speak English? Will my English be good enough? 

My english definitely was good enough. It was annoying when people asked me what's some word or how to say something in english.. I just replayed that english is not my native language I don't know everything.. I was in two different places and I could do stuff there, as much as I liked. No, they didn't speak that good english.. I got better in greek every day and I learnt how to communicate without a language.

• Will I love my apartment? What if I don't? Will I get myself to feel like home? What if I can't cook for myself or I'm too bored to cook and I'll only eat some takeout food and get fat? :D

My apartment was on a really nice place and many students were jealous of it. I liked it, and in the end I didn't spent that much time in there anyway. I got myself to feel more than home in there! I was bored to cook most of the time and also to go to the supermarket but I didn't eat takeout food instead I didn't eat that much at all.. :D

• Will I get the energy and drive to go to the nearest gym? What if I don't go there? ..then I'll be disappointed to myself.

I actually totally got hooked by going to the gym when I saw some results and even got my weight a little down! I totally had drive to go there! Not always of course, but I did go there! :) 

•  Will I get new friends soon? Exchange students and local greek people both? I'm conserned that I don't want to or I'm gonna be too tired to go to some partys and places where to meet people?

I think I got friends pretty soon! :) Both exchange students from events, the couple of parties that I went to, from the hospital and by chance! I didn't go to parties but I found other ways to meet people! Like events and trips, school, language course etc. 

• What if I'm gonna miss my family and my best friend too much? 

I missed my best friend a lot! And it was weird not to be able to text her about everything. I didn't miss Finland at all. Only some small things, like some favourite foods. I actually didn't miss my family since I spoke with them on Skype and my sister and later also my parents visited me in Athens.

• Am I crazy to leave to some Mediterranean country with my ice hockey gear? Should I just take a total break from ice and enjoy it? Or should I really go there, meet new people, have fun playing hockey and enjoying the ice time I can have to improve my skills also in ringette?

I only took my skates with me, thank god. Since it didn't work out, at all. I went there two times to meet people and check the ice and watch one men's game. There were problems with the owner of the rink and we weren't allowed to go to the ice.. :( So that didn't work out at all. Although the skates in my room gave me motivation to go to the gym.



Those were the question I stressed about.. FOR NOTHING! 

In Athens I liked the feeling of being free. I lived on my own, I went and came when I wanted, where I wanted. I didn't have the same training schedule, I did what I wanted when I wanted. I was independent. The exchange was the greatest experience of my life, by far. I showed myself that I can manage alone in a foreign country. I got (at least for now..) a desire to learn how to cook since I mostly ate the same food.. I learnt a lot about myself, I gained tons of self confidence, I got many new friends and made the old relationships stronger. I enjoyed the exchange professionally and I learned to speak greek with locals. I also enjoyed the sea, sun, food, culture, music and everything in between what Greece had to offer to me. Many of my greek friends told me several times that am I sure that I'm not a greek since in so many things, in a short period of time, I could behave and act like a local. In almost 5 months I didn't miss Finland basically at all. I really hope for Greece to get over the financial crisis and  to make some changes for the people there!

Now what? It's time to, not to forget, but to look forward to new adventures. I definitely showed myself that maybe someday I can move abroad to work and live. Now I'm working and waiting the school to begin again to finnish my education and after that wait and see what happens! I'm excited about the future travels, life and adventures that I will encounter! Thank you for sharing my exchange with me through my blog!

-"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing"