My fairy tale

This one was written on 27th of October, three months after me and Steve decided to continue our lives to different directions..

Καρδιά μου πληγωμένι..

Sad? Mad at life? Hurt? Lost? Empty? Tired? Broken?

Are words to describe how lost I feel. Most of the people have broken up and everyone handles it differently. Im just a big broken mess. Lost and alone. My heart and my chest literally hurts. I wanna throw up. I have lost my best friend to whom i could tell and share everything with. Who was there for me for everything. The kindest, sweetest and loving man i will ever meet. Now it's just me and my thoughts.

It's been 13 weeks and the first ten of them i cried every day until i had to go to doctor's because my heart hurt. Literally. Nothing was found. The nurse told me as a female to another that i have a broken heart. I havent stopped my life tho, im fine during the days when im busy with two jobs, school and my sport. When alone at a car, bus or at home im a crying mess.

What doesnt kill you makes you stonger they say. I believe in that. I also believe that everything happens for a reason. I just cant see that now, will i ever?  To give up someone you love madly just for the other person to be happy or find what they want in life is one of the most difficult things i have ever done. Or will ever do. To let go someone you love and the only person you have ever been able to see the future with. To know that the other person loves you to the moon and back, respects you of who you are and what you do and then you need to let go. It's hard. No words to describe it. Nothing. Just tears.

He showed and taught me what love is and what it can be. He will become the most perfect and loving husband and a father one day when he finds his passion and desire in life what he wants to do, and the place where he feels like home.

It started from Thailand as a summer romance, as a fairy tale. It ended up over three years later by best friends giving up from each other cause the time and the place didnt match in this life. This was my fairy tale.

Always thankful from everything <3

Waffles and chicken and a strip club ?

On a Sunday morning we woke up at 10.30, hangover of course. Melina had talked about this Waffle and Chicken Roscoe's place ages so we decided that fuck it, let's have that for breakfast. Ida didn't wanna come with us so we agreed on catching up later with her to go sightseeing.

The place was weirdly popular! Definitely not a breakfast place but at 10 am you had to queue to get in! We waited around 30 minutes until we got called in by name. We ordered literally waffle and chicken. Check the pic!

After that we went to catch up with Ida at this starbucks place and I was trying to sort my card out with my bank here in Finland.. Saw some nice street art on the way there:

Then we left to walk to the Observatory which was quite a walk for two hangovers in a warm sunny weather.. Views again were pretty amazing. We didn't spend too long at the Observatory cause there wasn't really anything to see..

After the climb down we shopped a bit and then took Uber home, had a little rest, got ready and head out again.

It was time for a bar right at the Hollywood street, a bar called OHM! Free drinks again at a table all night! Stayed until it closed around 2 am. A really good night it was! :)

On a Monday morning we took an Uber to Beverly Hills! Rodeo Drive was just like in movies! All the expensive cars etc. Definitely felt like I didnt belong in there...!!!

Then it was time to shop again at this close by shopping center ! I found lovely Nike's but of course they didnt have my size.. Didnt buy anything. Ida stayed to shop while me and Melina found this SoupPlantation food court ! Amazing! Paid almost nothing for a buffet of all sorts of stuff!

That night was my bday.. Me and Melina got ready and somehow we agreed to leave for a strip club... We accidentally got there one hour too early.. A bit embarrishing.. This night is probably the most embarrishing of my life. :D We went for drinks to this close by pub which ended up being a guy bar. We sophisticatedly drank one class of wine each and got ready to face the strippers. Got in VIP, didnt have to queue. The first hour I was shocked to see all the women getting ready and walking at the bar talking to people. Boobs everywhere. Almost naked bodies everywhere. Most of them were fake tho especially asses!!! So many implants! I was also really surprised to see also bigger girls and "normal" who weren't that thin nor tight at all.. Cellulite also (thank god im not the only one, even strippers have it! )

Video doenst work. Thank god.

We eventually got to our table where we were the only girls just three guys there with us. I was probably closer to 12 when we got our first drinks.. Vodka, champagne, cognac.. you name it. Then the strippers came in. Oh god. They were quite good. Then also Black Chyna and the boyfriend came in to celebrate their engagement. That was also in the newspapers in Finland the next day. What a coincidence.

We stayed at the table until they started to close maybe around 2 am.. Considering that we started to drink at 12 and I can barely remember anything after 2 am was something. We drank so fast and so much that I dont know how im alive :D They can't sell alcohol after two so they collected everything away and I remember trying to hide my drink from them so i could finish it.. Woulda been a good idea to give it away at that point.

We also danced. On our table not on the poles, thank god. I also got tipped. Three one dollar notes. One in my bra.

Can't remember leaving the bar. We got to this car with these random people. I remember feeling terrible. At one point Melina told me this is it, we are getting out. We got out at this gas station in some getto area.. They went to get so weed or some drugs so we decided to fuck of. We got uber back to our place, and yes we stopped for me to through up. I think I puked in the car also a bit.

When we eventually got back Ida said that it had taken us 10 minutes to come up from the car (it took literally 10-15 seconds to walk to our door..). We hadnt even been able to open to door.. I walked straight to bathroom to throw up. Wasnt able to take my shoes off by myself.

What a fucking night.

Summmeeer

Today I read my latest post, once again. Now I'm gonna write a little bit about how did I feel then, what about now and have things changed somehow since the post in March.. Let's get started..

Well first, the snow is finally gone! Thank god, I would have lost my sense soon.. The last days have actually been warm in here. And just today I noticed that almost everything is already green or getting more green every day! It feels so good to see the sunlight! :D

Ringette season ended for us very well! I'm proud of my team and happy to tell that we won bronze medals on a really tight game against Raisio! Not once had we won the team before this season, and we won on overtime! The next season has already just started but I've been busy with stuff so I've just been practising on my own. It was a huge struggle once again for me to decide where to play.. I struggled with the pros and cons for weeks before I made up my mind. I decided to accept the offer I got to be an assistant coach / player in Hyvinkää.

My greek friend Dafni moved here in the end of Feb and I've been so happy to have her in my life here! I've been so happy to hang with her and get to know all the greek exchange students that live here for now! And also couple of other people from different parts of the world. They have showed me a totally different side of having fun and exploring Helsinki. So many places here that I've never been in or seen. Every time I'm with Dafni, I can be myself and have a great time speaking a little greek, having a coffee some place or just hanging at my work place! Couple of days ago my other friend from Athens came to visit us here! I'm so excited but at the same time a bit sad since next Saturday Lazaros AND Dafni are both leaving for good.. :(

To get back where I started from, the previous post. I read, again, the article that was included in the previous post about why we should travel while being young. It just makes so much sense to me, it's written perfectly! Basically it feels like it's written to me! Maybe referring once again to the article or just to my feelings of missing Greece, Athens, friends, home, food, culture, summer etc. etc. etc. I bought the tickets back to Athens for two weeks in August!

Anyway, first I'm gonna graduate to become a personal trainer (I already finally finished my studies on physiotherapy and also on gym instructor) on the beginning of June and a week after that I'm heading to my first adventure of the summer: conquering Thailand alone for two weeks! I really dont have a detailed plan yet, just a raw sketch about where to head and what to see in some places.. I'm gonna probably think about that a week before the actual trip.. :)

Then I'm heading back home to work for a whole two weeks ;) and then head to Barcelona with my friend Mira for a week. Or as we call it our "practise or boot camp" ;)

And, after that trip I just found out that I have an opportunity to travel to Gothenburg for one weekend FOR FREE in August! Our company is having a Nordic convension in there and they are gonna pay for everything! + I even get to train hard in there for one day. Perfect!

Even though my summer sounds only about traveling I'm also training really hard since my eyes and mind are still on the national team. The next and at the same time the last camp before the final elimination of the last players is held on the 24-25th of August. Then it is it. Time of the truth. Do I have what it takes to make it to the team or not. Will I make it or be one of the last players to be sent home. In August it will be pretty much exactly two years that I've been thinking and stressing about the national team and the next Championships. Counting  players, evaluating myself and hoping for the best. Partly because of that I booked myself tickets to Athens on the next day after the camp. It was kinda like a gift to myself to relax and forget about it for a while. It might be that I'll be in Athens when they will announce the team. If I'll make it, it will be one part of the dream come true and even more perfect to be in Athens then. On the other hand if I wont make it, I think it'll be easier to deal and cope with it in Athens since I've got other things on my mind there also. We'll see what happens.

For now, I'm just gonna enjoy the last week with all my friends here in Finland and wait for the weeks to pass and countdown to Thailand to begin! ;) 

-Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart-

Confucius

YOLO

I've been suffering from a huge travel fever lately, surprisingly.. I've been talking with friends and they all tell me to get out there to explore the world and the planet. Oh, and it really doesn't help since there is absolutely no sun in here. I have already forgot how it looks like and feels like. Last year, while being in Athens for my exchange (can't believe it's already been a year!), the first time at the beach was on the second of March.. Now, we are almost in the middle of March and we got about -5-15 and so much snow that I'm starting to wonder if it's ever going to melt away. Couple of days back it was actually one of the rare sunny days and I could even see dry asphalt! I was so excited that I even took a photo of it! ;) 

18.3 and still so much snow! :( 

My greek friend moved to Helsinki to do her Erasmus here so I've been really lucky since I can have some greek culture into my boring days and weeks. Greek coffee, music, language and cheek kisses have become a routine to me by now. :) 

Even tho my weeks are mostly boring; two jobs, trying to finally finnish my thesis and graduate, I still got something important going on also. My team finally made it to playoffs and the big and important games are on! It's a huge opportunity for us to try to win the Championship! Of course not forgetting how big chance it is for the national team's players to play well and give proofs for the coaches..

Regardless of that, not a day goes by without me thinking about traveling or looking at google maps and exploring new places which I'd want to go.. I found such a good finnish article about what do the 50 + people regret in their lives. The first point was: that they didn't travel enough 91 %! 

For those who can understand finnish the arcticle is below. 

What do you regret?

Couple of weeks back one of my facebook friends posted one article that I fell in love with! I've read it at least four times and for me it's inspirational, cause I always worry about things and hesitate whether or not I should travel. I can find pros and cons from every view from my life why I should or shouldn't travel. When I read the article, one part of it was like reading about myself. And basically it just hit me; I don't wanna be like that, I don't wanna be a coward who just talks about the ideas of traveling but never has the guts to fulfill the talks.

"I told her to travel. Hands down. No excuses. Just go."

"Yeah, but.." 

"This phrase is lethal. It makes it sound like we have the best of intentions, when really we are just too scared to do what we should. It allows us to be cowards while sounding noble."

Read the whole article below. It inspired me.

Why you should travel young?

The article was actually one of the last things that pushed me to do something I've dreamed of but never thought I would have guts to do it. I bought tickets to Thailand and I'm gonna pack my backpack and leave for an adventure ALONE on 16th of June for two weeks of traveling around! I'm so excited! I haven't planned anything yet, just decided that I'm gonna buy the ticket now. Τωρα η ποτε!  ;)